2013年1月27日 星期日

HMV

Try and buy... HMV listening booths in the 1960s.

Sitting in identical booths, immersing into different worlds of fantasies. This is the story of life, the story of fate. The story of our fate.
Only until that day when we are forced out of our own worlds, seized into pieces of unconsciousness, will we know whether we would last forever, put into the wheels of recurrence, or entering the real full stop. We try to, or even force ourselves to, channel ourselves into waves of music to get a taste of what our future beyond the end note feels like. Music is an escape which offers no escape. It is paradise in one sense, hell in another.

Still, we cannot resist but unwillingly go to music if we ever feel an urge for an escape. And this may be the most beautiful stupidity this world will ever see.

2013年1月4日 星期五

三點寫到四點唔知為乜


很靜。望向窗外,燈火仍開的家戶沒餘多少。我就這樣托著腮,似有所夢地往外望。諷刺的是,寒風易冷,我面前的窗戶近乎緊閉;而我和窗外的風景之間也硬生生的夾住那該死的鐵窗框。總有很多事看似垂手可及,卻永遠存在著不能超越的短距離。所以,我要行文了。我不知這和行文有甚麼關係,但我要下筆了。

我想提我的童年,卻不知如何開始。該說一下我有多渴望回到在般含道舊屋時一家人永遠的快樂團圓?還是以前每晚一開口就可以享受的全世界?為何不提提眾多的離愁別緒?不、腦袋還是空白一片。我只知道,這些事不可一輩子都在手裡掌握住。

而我不想放手。我不放心。

我不放心將這些回憶交付於未知的未來,使其寒冷,使其飄零。我不知道將來的我會如何交待這些單白的往事;或是將其化作一縷白煙,任其隨風起浪、付諸笑談中?倘若老無所依,只能死死陳白往事以解慮?哪麼,曾經體會過的寒風透骨呢?期望被母親擁抱的激盪呢?兩兄弟在客廳摔角的微笑呢?那些自知無結果但永不結束的追求所予的快感呢?會成為我的背影直至伴我入土嗎?還是未入土便已撒手人寰?

人一生會忘記的事,就只有已忘記了的事──這不是廢話。我忘了,記不起,一段人生就走了。我竟也會有這樣的想法。是我執著?還是我剛開竅?蘇格拉底說不斷的問就能不斷的知道;但此刻的我向著窗外的清風求解,收入耳窩的只會是房間內硬梆梆的留聲。一生無止境而無謂的自問自答,卻又希望這樣的無謂能永不止息。這部賺人熱淚的喜劇在世上重覆上映,而我們卻永遠想當主角,也永遠看不厭。

事永遠客觀,熱度永遠在人──這是我唯一體認的grand theory。我的成長與常人無異。我從沒為獲得一種別人希望得到的感覺而成為我所不是的人。在我的眼內,所有人都只是同樣;或同樣的沒救,或同樣的歡恩,或同樣的自大。我從不認為我的過去令我變得特別,但我只想走我的路,並記住走過這些路的心情。這廿一年一路走來,記住的很好,丟掉的沒法,我也只能隨著時代巨輪走,當個「沒來過也沒去過」的浪客。我只能忻求那一年的聖誕樹能不矮得那樣快、身邊人沒老得那樣快、自己沒死得那樣早,儘管忻求的魔法永遠失效。

對,我很怕。但管它的。我只想體會,然後記往。在那註定的一天,再被迫遺忘。


Bee Gees - First of May



When I was small, and Christmas tress were tall,
We used to love while others used to play.
Don't ask me why, but time has passed us by,
Some one else moved in from far away.

Now we are tall, and Christmas trees are small,
And you don't ask the time of day.
But you and I, our love will never die,
But guess we'll cry come first of May.

The apple tree that grew for you and me.
I watched the apples falling one by one.
And I recall the moment of them all,
The day I kissed your cheek and you were mine.

Now we are tall, and Christmas trees are small,
And you don't ask the time of day.
But you and I, our love will never die,
But guess we'll cry come first of May.

When I was small, and Christmas trees were tall,
Do do do do do do do do do...
Don't ask me why, but time has passed us by,
Some one else moved in from far away.






Yesterday once more, please...?

2013年1月1日 星期二